Swedish Halloween!

The whole fam went to a murder mystery Halloween party last night and had a FAB time!  We made some new friends and generally were much more social than usual.  But now I am at a crossroads in yet another Swedish dilemma......one of the girls we met last night requested to be my Facebook friend this morning.  "Great!", I thought, and accepted it.  As I uploaded pictures from the party, there were a couple of her, which I tagged.  She "untagged" them within 5 minutes!  Um, ok.  So apparently I have crossed some sort of unspoken line which I had no idea was there.  So, whatever.....if that offended her then so be it.  But I do have to mention, she posted a picture of me BEFORE she wanted to be friends.  Hmmmmm.  Oh, and she is not even Swedish, she is American - again, I say, whatever.  *sigh*

Welcome Back....

So it's been an eternity since I've posted.  Sorry, peeps.....but it's been a wild few months......so let me explain:

1.  Summer Vacation.
So, supposedly we made it through the worst winter in 50+ years.  Apparently that equals to the warmest summer in 50+ years as well.  It was absolutely gorgeous, but waaaaaaay too hot to live comfortably for a girl who has never lived in a house without some sort of A/C.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I am from the Deep South and should be used to heat.  Of course I am, that is a given.  But even the poorest people there at least have a window A/C unit.  Here, I got funny looks if I suggested we get an oscillating fan.  Come on people, it was H-O-T.  No need to sweat if you don't have to!

2.  baby girl started Dagis!  Can I get an amen????  She loves it, and hardly needed the week of inskolning that all daycares require here.  For the record, I think that it is a good idea.  However, by the 3rd day I was asking the headmistress if I could sneak out and run errands.  baby girl could not have cared less that I was there!  Thank goodness our Dagis is cool like that and let me drop her off by herself for the last 2 days of transitioning.  And I am loving that both girls love to be there every day, because.....(wait for it)....

3.  I have started SFI (Swedish for Immigrants)!  It has been a true learning process for me, and has really begun to open my eyes about this crazy, small world we live in.  My class is far, FAR, F-A-R from perfect but I am beginning to learn and actually use Swedish.  My spoken Swedish still sucks, but at least now I know what I am *supposed* to say.  Listening skills are getting better, too.  Reading and writing are definitely my strengths.  Hopefully I can put all these puzzle pieces together soon so that I can get a job, which I feel I desperately need to do....not just financially for the family, but for me, myself, and I.  I have missed adult interactions, and have made new friends in SFI.  Thank goodness! :)

4.  Lastly, we are building a house!  YESSSSSS!  Time to get out of this apartment with its crazy neighbors.  Time for the girls to each have their own rooms.  Time for all of us to have space when we need it - forced "togetherness" in a tiny apartment has almost run its course.  So, hopefully by next summer we will be in our new pad.....that is, if our architect can get the drawings right.  And that, my friends, is a story that deserves its own post....

SO, forgive me bbs for being so slack!  I promise I will do better.....

Springtime Snow and Dagis Bugs

Today is April 21st.  We woke up this morning to about a quarter of an inch of snow on the ground.  Seriously.

For the past several weeks, we have had at least one gorgeous Spring day.....I now have Spring Fever so bad that I am willing myself to eat on the porch when it is the least bit sunny outside.  I am pushing The Belle outside to play if the sun is even peeking through the clouds.  Perhaps it is denial......at our previous home in the US, people are already wearing flipflops and shorts.  Here?  I think it is warm when I can go outside with just a fleece jacket on.  My, how things have changed.....

To add to the crazy weather, we have all been sick.  Thanks, Dagis.  Although, baby girl did get sick first.....and she doesn't go to Dagis yet.  So for all we know, this wonderful mess came off of a cart at Maxi.  All I know is that I feel horrible, and Mama is never allowed to be sick.  *sigh*

What an uplifting post for you today!  I promise things will get better......

Done

I am so done.

Done with sassy husbands, crabby kids, obnoxious dogs, and tiny apartments.  Done with pediatricians who snarkily say, "So you prefer English?" and "Americans certainly are ambitious with immunizations".  Done with preschool teachers who tell me that the other teachers and parents are afraid to talk to me because I only speak English.  Done.  Done, I say.

And forgive me, said pediatrician, for immunizing my child according to American guidelines.  A thousand pardons..............you idiot.

Reflections

It has been almost 4 months since we made our big transatlantic move.  In that time, I have made it through the worst winter in 50 years, a transition from a 1900 square foot house (with a yard) to a 900 square foot apartment, and various other ups and downs.  Yet one thing eludes me about common interactions I have experienced.  Let me explain.....

Example 1.....today baby girl and I went to Maxi (the Wal-Mart of Scandinavia) after we dropped The Belle off at dagis.  Everything was cool....we took in our recycling and got the receipt for the pant.  I got my self-scanner and we started on our way.  I even brought my own bags, which was very European of me.  So, I am going down the first aisle.....1 giant cart with an 11 month-old in the seat.....3 bags in the cart, waiting to be filled up.  I stopped to get soap.....I scanned it, no problem.  I put it in the bag and look up to see a pissed-off lady basically wanting to play chicken in the grocery aisle.  Um, ok.  So I hurriedly throw my soap in the bag and try to get out of her way, but she stays put and glares at me.  Um, hello?  I got so ruffled that I couldn't get out of her way fast enough so she could pick out her Pepsodent.  I wanted to tell her, "If I am in your way, why don't you say excuse me?  Is it not obvious that I don't see you??  And why are you so bitter?"  But I digress......

Example 2......after Fun Times at Maxi, baby girl and I set our sights on home.  At our apartment, there are gates at the paths but you can open them if you need to.  I think 3 large bags of groceries and a sleeping infant qualify for opening the gate and driving up to the apartment door.  Apparently I am wrong.  As I get everybody and everything in the house, an elderly couple walks around from the other direction.  If you have read any previous posts, you know my luck with the elderly....but I remained hopeful that they would just keep walking.  The man did, but his wife stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, and stared at me until I was in the building.  Then, as I went in to put the groceries in the kitchen I looked out the window and the man had stopped, turned around, and was watching me through the window.  WTF?  I gave him the stinkeye and he turned around and walked off, but really?  What was that about?  I know that I do not look typically Scandinavian.....I am a glamazon, a redhead that is almost 6 feet tall, but please do not stare at me like I dropped down from the moon.  That rattled me so much that I had to call The International and ask him if I looked funny.  Now he thinks I'm crazy, but I have had enough weird things happen to me since we've been here that I thought it was a valid question.  Whew.

So, enough of my reflections for today.  Hopefully next time they will be a little more positive.  Hopefully.

Playground Adventures and Waffle Day

Apparently I have a tattoo on my head that tells random people to start conversations with me.  However, this tattoo only appears when I least want it to.  Like yesterday......

I took The Minis to a nearby playground after lunch.....Spring has come to the tundra and it is glorious!  There is still a little snow, but the sun is making more of an appearance, it is warm, and the ground is finally beginning to dry out.  So, we are having a fab time....we have the playground to ourselves which is even better.  Then here comes a teenage girl and her little sister.  And the teenage girl wants to talk.  Me?  Not so much.  Here's the Reader's Digest version of our convo:


Her:  You Speak English?

Me:  Um, yes. 

Her:  And your daughter speaks English?

Me:  Um, yes. 

Her:  Wow.  When I looked at you, I didn't think you looked like someone who spoke Swedish.  Your baby is so cute.

Me:  Thanks.

Her:  Blah, blah, blah, blah.......so your daughter speaks English?  Your baby is so cute.  And you speak English?  Blah, blah, blah, blahhhhhh........


This went on for about 15 minutes before I finally told her we had to leave.  I think I know more about her than she know about herself after that convo.  She asked me about my age, where we live, where we were from, how old The Minis are, when their birthdays are, you name it she asked it.  I tried to answer her in as few words as necessary.  Now, I am pretty social, but I am not going to divulge tons of info to someone I just met at the playground.  I think she eventually got the message because then she told me everything about herself.....and that was when I decided the Q&A session was over and we had to call it a day.  Call me a buzzkill, but whatever.......

On another note, I found out recently that today is Waffle Day here in Sverige.  A whole day devoted to waffles, could it get any better???  baby girl and I had to go to Maxi after we dropped The Belle off at Dagis to get our waffle iron and accessories.  And we are having an old fashioned waffle party with the BIL and SIL tonight.  Yet another thing about Sweden that definitely does not suck.  Any holiday devoted to golden brown deliciousness is ok with me.....how about you?

Dear Facebook Friends,

Please stop using Facebook as your own political soapbox.  I know a lot of Americans do not agree with Obama's healthcare overhaul.  It is not perfect, nor will it ever be.  However, when I get on Facebook it is to socialize and see pictures of your kids.....not to hear about how you think Barack Obama and all Democrats are borne of the Devil.  If I wanted to be a part of a political debate I would call ComHem and subscribe to C-Span.  Give it a rest, please.  I will be forced to hide your posts from my NewsFeed if you don't put on your Big Girl panties and deal with something the government did that you don't happen to like or agree with.  k?thxbai

Love,
KT

Saving the Drama for Mama

On Fridays, The Belle doesn't go to daycare.  However, since last week was our transition week at Dagis this is our first official Friday off from school.  I must say, I was a little nervous this morning when I got up......mornings are not The Belle's most stellar time of day.  But she proved me wrong.  Miss "I-Don't-Eat-Breakfast" actually ate 2 bowls of polenta (the closest thing I can get to grits.....you can't take the South out of the girl...hehe) with no bribing or cajoling on my part.  That almost never happens.  I was even more confident with our day when I suggested we make Easter cookies and she enthusiastically agreed.  So we made the dough together and I put it in the fridge to let it chill before we rolled it out and cut the shapes.  Cut to an hour later.....

Me:  "Belle, come in here and let's make cookies!"

The Belle (walks in to kitchen...I have already gotten all the stuff out to cut out cookies and am pretty excited):  "NOOOOOOOooooooo!  *sob, sob. sob*"

Me:  "Wh-wh-what's the matter?"

The Belle (sobbing):  "I don't (insert gobbledygook.....some mix of English, Swedish, and Japanese)........"

Me:  "Come on!  It's going to be fun!  Mama has turned on the oven and we can roll out the cookies and cut the shapes.  Get your apron on and come here."

The Belle:  "NOOOooooooooo!  NOOOOOooooooo!!  *sob, sob, sob*

And so on and so forth.  For almost 10 minutes I tried to get her to tell me what the problem was, with no success.  I finally got sick and tired of the drama and sent her to her room because I couldn't handle the sobbing.  The sobbing with no known reason.  So finally she dries it up and comes in.

The Belle:  "I want a flower cookie"

Me:  "That's fine.  You can have one after I bake them.  baby girl and I are making the cookies now since you wouldn't tell me what was wrong."

Insert new, louder, more intense sobs here.

Me:  "Ok, Belle.  I don't think you feel good.  Let's take a nap instead."

Insert major temper tantrum here.

So I picked her up and deposited her on her bed, where she promptly smacked at me, which is a clear indication that #1 - she is exhausted, and #2 - she doesn't feel well.  Let me say here that I am again immensely grateful for the Swedish law which prohibits me to spank my own child.  When she hits and/or smacks me it sends me into orbit.  But since I do not want to go to jail, I follow the laws of the country and walk away.  Sometimes in a rage, but I always walk away.  And always saying the serenity prayer.  Or sometimes just "Serenity NOW!".  But I digress.....

So she is currently napping (um, Mama was right) and I am schooling on how I am going to salvage the rest of our day.  Oh, and did I mention that The International has the car today and that it is raining outside too?  This is going to be a challenge......

More Adventures with the Elderly

So if you have read any of my posts, you have come across the tale of my adventure on the bus with the elderly man who didn't care that I don't speak Swedish.  I walked away from that with the valuable lesson learned that old people just want to talk....and don't care if you speak their language.  A blanket moral, you might say, but I have yet another example that proves my theory.....

Today The Belle got to spend most of the morning at daycare without me (hallelujah!).  After baby girl and I enjoyed a quiet 3 hours at home, it was time to pick her back up.  So off we go.  As I am putting baby girl in her carseat, the tiniest Peugeot I have ever seen pulled into the parking lot.  It is full, I mean FULL, of elderly men and women.  I do not know how or why there were so many Q-Tips in there, but I digress.  Out of the passenger side pops an elderly lady who immediately makes a beeline for me.  My thoughts?  "Oh shit".  *sigh*

So Q-Tip #1 comes up to me and starts talking and talking and talking.  And she is talking VERY fast.  So, I ask her to repeat herself, because even though I don't speak Swedish, I understand quite a bit.  She repeats herself, but I am still pretty clueless.  I get the words "bil" (car), "här" (here), and "parkera" (park).  So I look at her and tell her (in Swedish) that I speak English only.  Sorry.  Does that deter her?  Um, no.  She keeps talking and talking and talking.  So I look at her and say (in English) "I am coming back"......with lots of sign language involved.  She seemed to understand.....so I thought.  She goes back over to the Peugeot clown car and starts talking again.....and I back out.  Only to have the clown car promptly pull into our parking spot.  WTF?

And let me mention that we rent our parking spot.....and also let me mention that there were probably 10 vacant spots in the parking lot that could've been used rather than ours.  And also let me mention that there is a BIG SIGN that says "Visitor Parking" as you pull in.  Um, it is in Swedish (BESÖK), but even I know what it says.  I would think that the Q-Tips, since at least one of them had a driver's license, would be able to read.  I know, that is crazy talk.....

So from now on I am going to pretend to be deaf with all elderly Swedish men and women.  But I bet they will keep on talking....

Daycare and Drama

Anyone interested in a very cute, intelligent, precocious almost 4 year old?  Lots of great qualities.....however, she does have a helluva temper.  What?  No takers??  Why am I not surprised???

We started daycare this week on an abbreviated schedule.  Hooray!!  Monday was our homevisit , which freaked me out like crazy.....I am the teacher who is used to doing the homevisits, not the slightly loopy parent that is on the receiving end, but that is another story entirely.  Anywho, it went great.  I love The Belle's new teacher.  She is my age, has 2 kids of her own that are preschool age, and speaks perfect English.  She is not a native Swede, which also gives me hope.....she moved here from South Africa when she was a kid, so she understands the big transition we are going through.  Tuesday was our first official day....I have to stay with her this week, but The Belle did great and even told me to leave when they went outside to play.  But yesterday, oh yesterday.....great first 2 hours, until I told her to go to the bathroom and wash her hands before she went outside.  Girl had a MELT.DOWN when I told her to go back in and wash her hands.  Um, hello?  What?!?  Yes, you read that correctly.  BECAUSE I ASKED HER TO WASH HER HANDS.  I was sooooo embarrassed......I wanted to snatch her up and spank her......actually no, I really wanted the earth to open and swallow me up.  Her screams were echoing throughout the entire building.  I felt some serious tears coming, but somehow I kept it together....I finally got her to calm down when I got about 1 millimeter from her face and talked to her between clenched teeth.  I threatened that we would leave and never, EVER come back.  I think she believed me (I would have, cause at that point I meant it) because she dried those tears up immediately.  At that point I began to apologize profusely to all the teachers for her tantrum.  They said it was ok, but I can only imagine that we were the talk of the teachers' lunch table after we left.  *sigh*  The Belle had another tantrum when we left because she didn't want to leave, but I am more ok with that.  Moreso because we were outside on the way to the car and not in the middle of the school building.  But it still made me exhausted......

At dinner last night the phone rang and The International answered it.  It was The Belle's teacher.  My stomach dropped like a brick....I knew she had called to tell us not to come back anymore.  BUT, everything is ok.  She actually told The International that everyone thought I handled The Belle very well, and that not to worry, they see behavior like that all the time.  And also to tell us she would be absent today and to bring The Belle later than planned.  Whew....dodged a bullet with that one.

So please send positive thoughts our way in another hour or so.  I have to stay today, and today I will have baby girl with me too.  Is 10:00am too early for an aperitif???

Bus Adventures, Speaking Swedish, and the Elderly

So today the Minis (both girls) and I went to the market to pick up a few things.....milk, bread, ham, cheese.....the Swedish essentials really.  Since The International took the car today, we rode the bus and used his bus pass.  No problems, easy ride there....found everything we needed with no preschool tantrums....able to get our bags in the stroller with both Minis in their seats.....even caught the bus back home at the right time with just a few minutes' wait.  So KT, I hear you say, where is the adventure?  Well friends, let me explain.....

While we were waiting on our bus home, also at the bus stop were 2 elderly persons...one man, one woman, maybe about 70 years old.  The little man was talking and talking and TALKING to the lady.  I figured they were together because he was talking and talking and TALKING.  Um, no.  When the bus came, she could not get away from him fast enough.  And, of course, since I had the stroller and the Minis I got on at the middle door.  But I wasn't safe......here he comes with his little cart, straight towards me.  Uh-oh.  I looked at him and in broken Swedish said, "Jag betala" (I need to pay).  He just stares at me.  So I take out my bus pass and repeat myself.  So he points to the space beside the Minis to park his cart.  Okay, I think, whatever.  Hopefully he will sit down.  Um, no.  He stays put with his cart.  At this point I know it is going to get interesting.  So I scan my bus pass and come back.  He is already trying to start a conversation with The Belle.  Great.  She is just staring at him like he is a nut (which I'm pretty sure he was, but I digress).  And when I get back, he starts to talk to me.  So I just straight up look at him and say, "Jag talar engelska. Mycket svenskt litet. Förlåt" (I speak English.  Very little Swedish.  Sorry).  However, he is not deterred.  He proceeds to have a one-sided convo with me for the rest of the bus ride.  But the best part of all of this was when The Belle looked up at me, pointed at him, and said, "Mama, he has a boo-boo on his face!" (which he did).  I started to laugh......so I looked away and saw a 20-something girl sitting behind us and she was laughing too.  Good times. 

So the moral of our story today?  Old people don't care if you don't speak their language, they just want to talk.  Apparently.  At least that's what I got out of today's adventure.  That, and a great laugh.....

Fun Times in the Fresh Air.....Not

Have you ever seen the screaming kid in public with the mom who acts like she can't hear or see what is going on?  Yep, that was me.

Yesterday we took the whole family out for a walk.  2 parents, 2 kids, 2 dogs, 1 stroller (well, the stroller isn't a member of the family, but should be).  About 2 minutes into our family time, The Belle decides to start crying because The International won't let her walk one of the dogs.  Let me go ahead and say that one of our dogs weighs 75 pounds and has the patience of Job.  He loves The Belle and lets her do anything to him.....cover him with blankets, put hats on him, ride him like a pony, you name it.  Our other dog is about 25 pounds, but can just barely contain his dislike of The Belle.  Of course, little dog is the one she wants to hold the leash of and walk.  So, to maintain order and enjoy the day, The International lets her "hold" the leash.  10 minutes later, The International asks her to stop.....the dogs are excited and it is taking all of his energy to keep them in check.......and.....

Cue the sparkles, cue the music, it was time for the Temper Tantrum of the century. 

The Belle had one of the worst tantrums I have ever seen.  EVER.  We have a double stroller and it took both The International and me to get her into it and strapped in.  The whole time she is crying and screaming at the top of her lungs, "LET ME OUTTA HERE!!  LET ME OUTTA HERE!!!".  For the rest of the walk.  I'd say we were about 10-15 minutes away from our apartment.  She screamed the entire time.  And what did I do?  I walked.  And walked.  And said the Serenity Prayer over and over in my head.  And was extremely grateful to the Swedish government for making it illegal to spank my own child, because it could've gotten ugly.  *sigh*

Let me say, I taught school for 10 years, 7 years in one of the poorest schools in the state.  I CAN get children to behave.  Children that don't have the sense that God gave a goat.  Children that other classroom teachers couldn't get to behave, I could get through to.  But my own child?  Not so much.  Frustrated is not the word to describe it.... *double sigh*

I'm not sure if The International will ever suggest any family time again after yesterday's episode.  And to be honest, who can blame him?

Swedish Daycare and Sunshine

Some might say it is a coincidence, but I say it is divine intervention......

This morning, The International, The Belle, baby girl, and I went to look at a daycare for The Belle.  Five minutes away, brand new (literally, they moved into the new digs yesterday), slots open for 4 kids now, and only able to take 32 kids total.  SOLD!  The International liked it a bunch too, so he is taking care of the paperwork to get her in asap.  I cannot express how happy and relieved I am to find a preschool that everybody likes, The Belle included.  We had to bribe The Belle to leave, which I am totally ok with.  She loved it and is asking when she can go back.  If it were up to me, I would be taking her tomorrow.  Go ahead and engrave my Mother of the Year award.  You try entertaining a very busy 3 year old 24/7 and then we'll talk.......

And to top it off, the sun is out!!!!!!!  That just makes the day even better.  I now understand why and how so many Swedes get depressed during the winter, especially this one with the crazy amounts of snow.  I am pretty sure the sun has not been shining this much in at least 2 weeks.  If it is beautiful like this tomorrow, I just might break out the Bermuda shorts and Rainbows.  It's practically summer.  Hallelujah!

Cabin Fever

So, according to The International (and every meteorologist on earth) this is the worst winter on record.  Like in ever.  Great timing for a transatlantic move, huh?  Today, we have about 30 inches of snow on the ground and it was -20 degrees Celsius (about -4 Fahrenheit) when we got up this morning.  And it is snowing more.  And it snowed all weekend long.  As a good Southern girl, normally I would be ecstatic at so much frozen precipitation back in the States......in my life there I taught school, and I am thinking we would be out 2 or 3 weeks with weather like this.  Here?  Um, life goes on.  Except for me, the girl who is nervous about driving in said snow.  *sigh*  So here I am.....me, 2 dogs, 2 little girls......snowed in for the 3rd day in a row.  If I don't get out tomorrow, I might be blogging direct from the looney bin.  Do you think they have facilities in the tropics?  I am thinking that would be a GREAT idea.......

Welcome to Sverige......

Allow myself......to introduce myself........

Welcome (or should I say Välkommen?) to the wit and wisdom of the Swedish Southern Belle.  A little about me, you ask?  Well, here you go....

I am from a small, small town in the Bible Belt of the US of A.  I would equate it to Andy Griffith's Mayberry......everybody pretty much knows everybody else, your social status for life is created and cemented in high school, and you are known best by which church you attend on Sunday (Southern Baptist, of course).  I have lived there my entire life, minus a few years here and there for college and whatnot.  Until 2 months ago.  2 months ago, my husband (aka, The International) and I moved our family across the ocean to the original land of 1000 lakes, Sweden.  This is The International's homeland.....he's back to his roots wif his peeps so to say.  Not so much for me.  So hence the reasoning behind this blog....hopefully those with time to waste can read this and get an idea of the pros (and cons) of translatlantic moves and such.  Oh, and did I mention we have 2 kids under the age of 3?  And 2 dogs too?  Oh yes, I hear you say, "what were you thinking?"  I must say, there are days I ask myself the same thing.  But here are some early insights about the good things Sweden has to offer.....


1.  Swedish ice cream.  Pretty much the bomb-diggety.....as another expat blogger I read once said, "Swedish ice sucks.....Swedish ice cream does not".  True dat.  I am doing my part to keep GBGlass in business during the winter.  I figured it was the least I could do.


2.  Supermarket Self-Scanners.  But KT, I hear you say, we have those in the US.  But this is different......here you have a handheld scanner (like the kind you use when you register at Target for a wedding or baby registry) so you scan your items and bag them as you go along.  When you're done, you just go to the register, give back the scanner, and pay for your items.  TaDa.  It does suck, however, if you have 2 kids, a husband, and 2 carts full of bagged groceries and you are randomly chosen to have your items rescanned (to make sure you aren't cheating the store).  That happened to us a few weeks ago......sigh.  But overall, a fab system.


3.  Public Transportation.  It is reliable, clean, and timely.  Since we only have 1 car here so far, The International takes it to work most of the time.  Have you ever been confined in a 900 square foot, 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment with 2 kids and 2 dogs all day long?  Not so fun.  We have to get out daily for my mental health.  So we are beginning to rely on public transport to get us out and about.  So far......


4.  Swedish pizza.  I have saved the best for last.  Pizzerias here are so, so delicious.......I really have no words to describe the deliciousness.....maybe smaskins.  Oh, and another....kebab.....oh, how I love you!


So, enough blabbering for today, but keep posted for more witty and interesting tidbits.  Yeah, right.  Later bbs.